24 years ago... I was born

As I begin the 25th year of my life in this temporary dwelling place, I am writing down a note to remind myself to be thankful always to God for the blessings that I have received.

Life has been good.

I graduated in June, and was able to attend the WYD in Madrid in August.Through it, I have been blessed to meet many people who have enriched my life.

But most recently, in the past 2 days, I have received many "gifts"

1. My ex-professor of surgery offered me a short term job on a project he is working on, and the possibility of expanding to other projects.

2. I was able to meet up with my best friend, after a long time

3. Spent the whole day in OT, culminating with a Whipple's procedure that started at 11pm, and took 3.5 hours!

4. Received a surprise letter from the government! (a nice one)

5. Received a nice email from my professor of medicine, who is a gem of a person.

6. Possibly a trip to the interiors if all works out well.

7. Got a nice surprise from the printers who refused to accept payment for the binding of my notes

God is good.

Pre-departure thoughts

I need a long distance flight once in a while. This is because everytime as the day nears for the flight, I start to think- to think of how mortal we are, the fragility of life. It is like an examination of conscience for me.

I prepare myself physically, mentally, and also spiritually for the journey.

How God has intervened for this trip remains the topic of dicussion in another post.

One of the things that I have been thinking of these past few days has been- if I were to get married, who would be part of my entourage of brave men, to endure the tasks set in order for me to win the girl of my dreams. I guess that maybe these thoughts may have been influenced by the recent movies I watched- Captain America and Harry Potter.

Anyway, in case I never make it home (i.e. flight mishap, terrorist attack, etc) here is the list s it stands at the moment

Best Man: Matthew my brother
Groomsmen: Felix, Matthew, Michael (my best friends in high school), Matteus (my protege- so to speak), Cuan, Robbie, Atish, (best mates in RCSI) Amin, Firdaus, Zarul (groupmates in PMC)

The number 11 is of particular significance in my life- 11 subjects and distinctions in SPM, 11 is number of my jersey, 2011 is the year I graduated, and many more major events associated with the number 11.

So 11 to form a party is a fine number indeed.

On a Pilgrimage

Accept everything that God sends you as coming from His hands.

As Mother Teresa said, “take what He gives, and give what He takes.”

Believe that whatever He permits, it is what you need most in life to help you come closer to Christ and become a fuller version of yourself.

The People Who Have Influenced My Life Thus Far...

In the coming week, I plan to post this blog on a couple of people who have directly, or indirectly, played a huge influence inmy life, other than of course my family.

1. Rev Fr Frank Doyle
2. Rev Fr Benedict Nieukey
3. Rev Fr Paul Chin
4. Rev Sr Marie Celine
5. Rev Bro Brendan Hare
6. Mdm Woo Seow Kheng
7. Prof Max Ryan
8. Prof Julia Blitz
9. Prof Richard Loh Li Cher
10. A. Prof Yeow Toh Peng
11. Mrs Jane Lim
12. Dr Mohd Amin bin Dr Mohd Ali

“Nothing is more practical than
finding God, than
falling in Love
in a quite absolute, final way.

What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide
what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read, whom you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Fall in Love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.”

--Pedro Arrupe SJ (1907-91)
28th Superior General of the Society of Jesus

More adventures

These past 2 weeks have been filled with adventure.

I sent ah mah back to KL, the first time i have been back in KL this year.

then headed to Kuching for a very fruitful weekend retreat, and got meet the guys who are going on the pilgrimage together... that weekend experience has rejuvenated my desire to work there some day....

Subsequently landed up in Singapore. met up with Mark and fiance, and all the other relatives... and got to watch Lion King as well...

then got home, and Ailin and the rest of the family came down, so was pretty busy eating!!!

Went for my op yday. it was quite weird that i wasnt scared at all, i thought i would be.

but i guess the good lord was there once again. the anaes was actually more excited than me when he found out about dad... so much so that he frightened mom by requesting to see dad while i was having my op done....

ended up in a very good environment for recuperation. so yes, another testimony that the lord is on my side...

p.s. i didnt remember a thing from ga... no dreams, good or bad... i had an injection of midazolam and that i went to sleep...

life couldnt be better, or could it?

i must say that life couldnt be better...

having graduated from med school after 5 fulfilling years

with a second class honours

having received an additional degree in recognition of research done in my favourite field of education

being awarded the best all round student prize

and being able to share the honours with my best friend

my whole family reunited after a long long time...

having gone on a very enjoyable road trip, despite coming back with bed bug bites...

enjoying time with some of my groupmates...

being able to spend time accompanying ah mah on the flight back to KL...

and there may be more to come, hopefully...

life couldnt be better. thank god

two weeks on...

two weeks on...

I have been busy, busy busy busy, what has gone past I have no idea...

Had a roadtrip to Kelantan with Amin, Penyu and Po*n for Kamal and Liyana's wedding...

Kelantan is a place I have come to like a lot... especially the food, the market, and the people. I would welcome an invite back to Kelantan anytime...

That was last weekend.

Prior to that, it was just saying the final farewells to the guys who were leaving Penang for good, or for the time-being while awaiting posting

Some good byes are hard, some are easier, and some are just good riddance...

This week had some practice long cases with the juniors who will be having their exams soon... ah how fast time flies, when I was once upon a time at that stage of life.

I cant stay at home... I dont know why... I need to be on the go...

which fits in perfectly... KL today, Kuching n Friday, Singapore on Monday, and back to Penang on Thursday.

there are still loads of things to do... writing the paper, editing the blog to print, binding the notes... it will take up most of my time when i am free...

I was looking back on all these, and sometime i wonder, will i regret being the person I am, needing to be on the go? maybe i should take some time to just be with myself, to look back on life, to relax and to enjoy myself...

ah well... sometimes thinking too much is not good, and as i sit here in starbucks writing this, this phrase comes to mind

life is changed, not ended... and that is how it is with my life at the moment... life as an undergraduate is over- after 18 years of full time studying, student life is over... now it is time to make the decisions... life changing ones.... let's see what the future holds...

at this moment, life couldnt be better...

A revival?

Now that studies are temporarily over, I am pondering if I should revive this blog.

Anyway, I just need a place to jot down a few thoughts now n then.


The past few days have been interesting, and very fulfilling

Let's start with the end of exams on Friday, the long case in the morning went well, and Amin, Boss and myself went for lunch at Kenny Roger's in Gurney before the start of the short cases in the afternoon. The group, minus Pidud and WeiLyn then proceeded to farsal for drinks. Went for mass with Thomas to thank god for the many blessings received, and then arrived home for dinner before heading out again for a midnight movie with the guys (popik, pidud, ise n bossman&woman). Kungfu Panda 2. came home dead tired


Saturday started off early with a session with Fr Ed, it was a good stimulating session, linking in the past 5 years and giving the future a good direction. Then proceeded to college for the viva list, and the MoH talk. Ended up with lunch with pidud, ise, safwe and naz at Sakae. we were all talking about plans for the next few weeks. when we arrived back in college, the pak guard said some ppl had just gone to see the exams officer, and got to know their results, so the rest of the guys went. i didnt, as i had already met prof richard this morning and he casually told me i passed my medicine, the only subject i was concerned about. on the way home, i got an sms saying that the results were already out, so after parking my car, i logged on, and lo and behold, the results were out!!! but in their binary form. very soon, my phone was ringing non-stop as people were confused as to what the results really meant. anyway, quite a few people had already posted up statuses on FB saying they passed, but actually after having checked with the exams office, they had actually failed a subject, shame on PMC. Anyway, as for me, I headed to Tao in Juru with evan, keshure and jj, for our much await, long delayed buffet dinner. it was really good. after that, I headed to straits quay, and had a pint with my high school mates, ah chee, jovan, sohan, kean sheen, eng boon were all there. in addition some of the guys from PMC were there also, they headed off to QE2 to club, while I headed to Kelawai for FUTSAL!!! played till 2am, came home dead tired.

Sunday started off early again, with morning mass of Pentecost. It was also confirmation day for the guys. After mass, headed for breakfast with keshure n the rest before heading home for a short rest. Went to cut my hair with Matthew at uncle Peter's, then played squash in Sri York with the gang, alwyn, sam, jien han, terh ren n mr badrul, prob for the last time. then headed home for dinner at sunshine bay. At night, I made some calls. Called Fr Polycarp, good to hear that he was alright, but he wasnt able to make it to Penang, what a shame! Called Andrew and Debbie, found out that Andrew had a relapse and now had Hodgkin's stage 4. Promised to keep each other in prayer and try to meet up when i head over there for WYD. Called Prof Max Ryan, finally made contact with him verbally! good to hear he was alright, except for a massive MI a few months ago, leaving him to survive on his right coronary circulation only. Promised to keep each other in prayer again!

Monday started off with breakfast with thomas and terh ren, before heading down to SXI to look for Bro Charles, found out he got warded. Then went to college. everyone was there to collect their robes but i had made an appointment to see Prof richard, we discussed quite a few things, including my future plans, and I passed him a copy of my thesis for his keeping. I then paid for the grad stuff, which was freaking expensive. Got a call from Trudy and was asked to see her immediately. Apparently I was awarded the best all round students, together with Amin. I then proceeded to lunch with pidud n the rest at the nasi padang place on transfer road, then headed to keng kwee street for ice kacang, before paying Bro Charles a visit in Adventist. Got the green light to use the chapel, and returned home tired. had a short rest, and then it was off to fish under penang bridge with the same gang of pidud, ise safwe, and naz, penyu came along halfway as well... it was good bonding time, but bad on the fishing front as we didnt catch anything at all!!! ended up going home at 3am, dead tired again.

Tuesday morning started off with me heading to SXI again, this time to have a look at the chapel, and to look for Mr Emmanuel in order to sort out the stuff for mass. After that headed to PMC again to invite ppl to the mass. I then had lunch at the seminary with Archbishop Soter, Fr gerard and the rest of the community. Fr Julian and Fr Edwin were also present. was introduced to a lady by Archbishop by the name of Veronica Retnam, who works with the Parti Sosialis Malaysia and wanted me to attend some seminar in USM on saturday. told her i couldnt. promised to keep in contact and sent her to pulau tikus before heading to the post office to send a copy of my thesis back to Ireland to Prof Max Ryan. Got home, and rested today, i think, but i am sure I am missing out somethign I did today. Yes! went out for dinner with yolanda at chulia street, and then coffee bean before sending her home n picking up matthew from tuition.

Wednesday started off with heading to PMC again. went to Tua ee's place to drop the laundry off, then had mee goreng with sara. printed the mass booklet and then got it copied, headed over to PGH to see Dr Luah but she was busy. headed home tired, and played squash with Alwyn n terh ren. ended up swimming after that, and headed out for dinner at viva, where we met somas! me and alwyn decided to go bowling, but when we got there, all the lanes were full. the parking guy tried to charge us 6 bucks per entry,but we got it down to 2. headed to kimberly street for tong sui and ended up talking till midnight!

Thursday woke, did some clearing up of my room, then headed off to meet Amin for drinks! paid Bro Charles another visit before heading to PMC to be interviewed by Janice. On my way out, fitri called, so we went to have lunch at 3pm! went to odei for cucur, he recognised me and asked where amin was! anyway, headed back to PMC and handed another copy of my thesis to Dr Yeow, and thanked her for her contribution. Headed home, had a quick nap before alwyn n terh ren came over for squash, followed by fitri and ise, n then pidud n farhan. had a good time in the pool, splashing each other and trying to drown each other. we then headed off for dinner at delicious, had really good dessert-cheesecake. penyu came for dinner as well, and then headed up to Batu for Black's burger! was trying to contact emma the whole day but the sms systems are really ba, and all our messages were delayed for a few hours!

Friday, today woke up to send dad to the airport, then headed to SXI to prepare the chapel and run the songs under proper conditions to see if any adjustments needed to be made. then headed off to lunch wit penyu, before heading home. had a short rest then had to go to the airport again to pick up dad and ahmah! had dinner at home, didnt got to the ball this time. tried out my suits for the grad ceremony and have decided on what i wanna wear. now gonna head out to meet keshure before heading out with the guys for maybe one last time!

tomorrow starts early again, with mass at 7.45 at the seminary. it's the college feast day, then heading down to SXI for my thanksgiving mass at 9! registered myself for a half day seminar on medicolegal issues at PMC, so will be there till 6, before heading to sunset mass! 3 masses in a day. then have to bring matthew and ahmah for dinner while mom n dad attend joshua's wedding dinner and pick marie up from the airport. i then have to rush to batu for keshure's bbq.

sunday morning, there's a rehearsal and then the event proper on sunday afternoon! god help us all with all the activities!

it's been a busy week!

Dr Mark Tan Kiak Min
BMedSc (Hons NUI), LRCP&SI MB BCh BAO (Hons NUI)

ponderings

When a doctor have taken medicine to be a business or trade, he will ask what are his achievements — material success, cars, wealth, etc..
When a doctor has taken medicine to be a calling, he will ask what has he become — his character.

What is it all about??

I came across this link. about the case of Dr Susan Lim, thanks to a fb post by one of my colleagues; and then proceeded to find out a little more about this illustrious surgeon, which brought me to this website.

I cant help it but to be very distrbed by this incident. Everyone has the potential to make the same mistake as Dr Lim. But what will one do once this has happened, even if it were not true?

What were those years of hard work, research, worth?

I guess yesterday sermon- that to strive for something, even money is not sinful, but just make sure that in the process, ou do not step on someone else...

Flashback to almost 5 years ago now, before I left for Ireland, the one piece of advice that has stuck is... do not cause other people to be troubled... or in another translation, do not step on others...

Patients get ill locally and in their own language

-ASME Berlin August 2010

Life

Heard one of the best sermons in a very long time this morning.

Here are the key points of the sermon

1. Life is hard
2. You are going to die
3. You are not that important
4. You are not in control
5. Your life is not about you

The Advent of Hope

"Hope looks for the good in people instead of harping on the worst.
Hope opens doors where despair closes them.

"Hope discovers what can be done instead of grumbling about what cannot.
Hope draws its power from a deep trust in God and the basic goodness of human nature.

"Hope 'lights a candle' instead of 'cursing the darkness.'
Hope regards problems, small or large, as opportunities.

"Hope cherishes no illusions, nor does it yield to cynicism.
Hope sets big goals and is not frustrated by repeated difficulties or setbacks.

"Hope pushes ahead when it would be easy to quit.
Hope puts up with modest gains, realizing that 'the longest journey starts with one step.'

"Hope accepts misunderstandings as the price for serving the greater good of others.
Hope is a good loser because it has the divine assurance of final victory."

James Keller, M.M.

Pick and Choose

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody
-Bill Cosby

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many person strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

The Call

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

Feast of All Hallows, All Saints, and All Souls

Just wanted to note that I miss Dublin during this period....

All Hallows- all the hype in Penang is just different... and I'm very sure I would have dressed up if I was in Dublin....

All Saints- no Latin... and also in search of a good sermon in Penang, or Malaysia for that matter...

All Souls- ah well, it took about 5-10 mins to finish reading the list of mass intentions yesterday.. .it felt like forever...

I have a feeling I'm going to miss Advent in Dublin...

NHS hospital deaths rise on day junior doctors join wards, study finds

The NHS has its very own black Wednesday, when death rates go up by an average of 6%

Sarah Boseley, health editor
Wednesday September 23 2009
The Guardian


http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/sep/23/nhs-black-wednesday-study


There is never a good time to have a heart attack, but the wise person afflicted with clogging arteries might want to be especially careful in future to avoid stress and watch the diet as August rolls around.

The NHS, it is revealed today, has its very own black Wednesday, when death rates go up by an average of 6%; and there is a somewhat disturbing underlying cause ? the arrival on the wards of a new intake of junior doctors.

On the first Wednesday in August every year, a freshly qualified set of junior doctors arrives on the wards. Pristine and eager and brilliant they no doubt are, but while they are finding their way around something unexplained and slightly perplexing appears to happen.

Researchers from the Dr Foster unit and the department of acute medicine at Imperial College London say there has been a suspicion for years that more people die on the day the new doctors arrive, but for the first time they have established that it happens ? although they say the rise in deaths is very small.

They do not blame the doctors' inexperience or confusion in the hospital and say it is also possible that only the severest cases are admitted in that week, because of the changeover.

Their study has international implications, the researchers say. "A similar effect has been recorded in the US (known as the 'July phenomenon')," they write in their paper, published today in the open-access journal PloS (Public Library of Science) One. But previous studies have looked only at a few hospitals.

The Imperial study is far bigger, scrutinising data from nearly 300,000 patients in 175 hospital trusts between 2000 and 2008. It compared death rates on the first Wednesday in August with the last Wednesday in July. The difference was most marked in medical cases, such as heart attacks and strokes, where there was an 8% increase in deaths; there was no difference in surgical cases.

"We wanted to find out whether mortality rates changed on the first Wednesday in August, when junior doctors take up their new posts," said senior author Paul Aylin. "What we have found looks like an interesting pattern and we would now like to look at this in more detail to find out what might be causing the increase.

"Our study does not mean that people should avoid going into hospital that week. This is a relatively small difference in mortality rates, and the numbers of excess deaths are very low. It's too early to say what might be causing it."

Shree Datta, chair of the British Medical Association's junior doctor committee, said the study had to be judged alongside others looking at mortality rates before and after junior doctors start their new jobs, but added: "Clearly even a small increase in death rates is of great concern and we need further research to see whether this is a real effect or an anomaly."

Surgery Week 1

Inspired by Weilyn's post

Monday- Public Holiday

Tuesday
8am ward teaching, tutor on leave, went to Urology Clinic, saw 20 patients until 1.45pm
1.45pm Meet the new Pre Med students
3pm Surgical Tutorial with Mr Kevin
4.30pm Penang Home visit for PMCSA Committee Members
5pm PMCSA Meeting
7.30pm Dinner
10pm Reach Home
11pm Sleep

Wednesday
5am Wake up
5.45 Leave home
6.15am Ward teaching with Mr Lam
7am Ward rounds
8am Attempt to clerk a patient
9am OT- Anterior resection until 1pm
2-6pm 4 lectures
6.30pm Clerking in wards
8pm Dinner
9pm Meet parents friend who is visiting
10.30pm Reach home, read up on case for tomorrow
12am Sleep

Thursday
4.30am wake up, shower
5.15am prepare case for presentation
6am Leave home
6.30am Ward teaching with Mr Tan
7.30am Clerking patients
9am TACE procedure for patient
10.15am Wards
11am Urology Clinic
12.15pm OT- 2 circumcisions
3pm LUNCH
4pm Study until 6.30
6.30pm Dinner
8.30pm Study
10.15pm Reach Home, read up about tomorrow's cases
11.30pm Sleep

Friday
5am Wake up, shower
6am Leave home
6.30am Ward teaching with Mr Manjit
7.30am Clerking
10.30am Urology Clinic
12pm Teaching with Mr Datesh
1.30pm Meeting with Dr Yeow
2.30pm PMCSA Photos
3pm 2 Lectures until 5pm
5pm Go home change
6pm Penang Hill until Saturday afternoon

Week 1 of surgery- tiring but satisfying