A fulfilling week and more...

This past week has been amazing... I've been able to appreciate things lot more in my life, and to thank God for all the wonderful people he has allowed me to encounter.

Last Saturday, Keshure n myself drove up to Cameron Highlands, where we had a good steamboat dinner, and a good short break at Father's Guesthouse in Tanah Rata.

We headed for mass at the convent, where I met up with Fr Edwin Paul who was up with hi parishioners as well. We also met the ParishPriest, Fr Eugene Benedict, who invited me to participate in some outreach clinics, etc that they hold for the orang asli in Camerons. I will definitely be looking forward to coming back here.

Monday started off well with me sending Marie to the bus station for her bus to KL, life will not be the same when she returns in a couple of months time. I was also able to attend mass at the seminary in the evening. Somehow, Mariophile gives me a sense of serenity, and attracts me to it.

Tuesday was the day spent at home. I managed to get my EPF account opened, and also completed all my outstanding errands, such as delivering the thank you card to Ms Tan for the very kind graduation gift of binding my notes.

Wednesday was reserved for bringin Ivory around Penang. Picked her up at the airport, then we proceeded to the hotel before heading to Balik Pulau for laksa, and the whole round island works... Also managed to squeeze in a movie in the evening, before sending her back.

Thursday, I managed to donate blood for the 4th time, and I managed to show Matt what it was all about. Also managed to spend some time with him, ending upwith lunch at Passions. Gosh, I really respect that guy. Then resumed tour guide duties for Ivory, and her friends.

Friday, met up with Prof Lee in the morning. Discussed our project, and it went better than expected. So we'll see how that goes along in the next few weeks/months. Managed to play squash before heading for dinner with my ex-classmates. Geez, time has passed so fast. I haven't met them for such a long time even though we've all been in Penang. Sam, Terh Ren, Wei Lyn, Dhir, Thomas- thanks for spending some time with me.

Saturday I managed to visit the old house with dad, helping him sort out the details of the place. Going into that house brought back memories indeed... climbing up those steps which I cam tumbling down one day... my old room. We then headed for mass before meeting up with my old school mates... Ve Jun and Matthew Gooi, ended up talking till 3am! now, for next week's meet up with James.

Woke up late today as a result of last night's late night. Packed for the induction, watched the Ireland-Italy rugby game, and had a good squash session. Made a call to Andrew and Debbie, and it was good to hear he's well. Now just chilling for a bit.

Tomorrow, I have an early morning jog appointment with Ve Jun, and then plan to get my car tyres checked, meet up with Ab Soter before leaving at 4.30 for Ipoh with Kean Sheen.

Despite all this hustle and bustle, there are still many things outstanding that I have yet to finish, but I guess that's how it is with life. But at this point, life has never been better. The post WYD feelings still linger, and it keeps getting better!!!

But yes, I do still have some worries- mom & dad, and also I've been experiencing a niggling ache that I am worried may be a recurrence. I am half hearted about visiting the doc again, but we'll see how it goes.

This week at induction, I've also set up to meet a few people in Ipoh, aunty Anna, Martin Jalleh and also Danial. I'm still waiting on a reply for a meeting with this chap who happens to be both a religious brother, and a doctor at the Fatimah Hospital.

Friday is dinner with James tentatively, and Saturday will see my meeting with Fr Ed as well as Uncle Albert's 70th bithday dinner. I'm leaving Sunday free in the unlikely event that I may need to travel to my posting.

Listening to this CD that Ivory gave me is really good... it makes me feel very calm, and reflective. A mood I like a lot.

24 years ago... I was born

As I begin the 25th year of my life in this temporary dwelling place, I am writing down a note to remind myself to be thankful always to God for the blessings that I have received.

Life has been good.

I graduated in June, and was able to attend the WYD in Madrid in August.Through it, I have been blessed to meet many people who have enriched my life.

But most recently, in the past 2 days, I have received many "gifts"

1. My ex-professor of surgery offered me a short term job on a project he is working on, and the possibility of expanding to other projects.

2. I was able to meet up with my best friend, after a long time

3. Spent the whole day in OT, culminating with a Whipple's procedure that started at 11pm, and took 3.5 hours!

4. Received a surprise letter from the government! (a nice one)

5. Received a nice email from my professor of medicine, who is a gem of a person.

6. Possibly a trip to the interiors if all works out well.

7. Got a nice surprise from the printers who refused to accept payment for the binding of my notes

God is good.

Pre-departure thoughts

I need a long distance flight once in a while. This is because everytime as the day nears for the flight, I start to think- to think of how mortal we are, the fragility of life. It is like an examination of conscience for me.

I prepare myself physically, mentally, and also spiritually for the journey.

How God has intervened for this trip remains the topic of dicussion in another post.

One of the things that I have been thinking of these past few days has been- if I were to get married, who would be part of my entourage of brave men, to endure the tasks set in order for me to win the girl of my dreams. I guess that maybe these thoughts may have been influenced by the recent movies I watched- Captain America and Harry Potter.

Anyway, in case I never make it home (i.e. flight mishap, terrorist attack, etc) here is the list s it stands at the moment

Best Man: Matthew my brother
Groomsmen: Felix, Matthew, Michael (my best friends in high school), Matteus (my protege- so to speak), Cuan, Robbie, Atish, (best mates in RCSI) Amin, Firdaus, Zarul (groupmates in PMC)

The number 11 is of particular significance in my life- 11 subjects and distinctions in SPM, 11 is number of my jersey, 2011 is the year I graduated, and many more major events associated with the number 11.

So 11 to form a party is a fine number indeed.

On a Pilgrimage

Accept everything that God sends you as coming from His hands.

As Mother Teresa said, “take what He gives, and give what He takes.”

Believe that whatever He permits, it is what you need most in life to help you come closer to Christ and become a fuller version of yourself.

life couldnt be better, or could it?

i must say that life couldnt be better...

having graduated from med school after 5 fulfilling years

with a second class honours

having received an additional degree in recognition of research done in my favourite field of education

being awarded the best all round student prize

and being able to share the honours with my best friend

my whole family reunited after a long long time...

having gone on a very enjoyable road trip, despite coming back with bed bug bites...

enjoying time with some of my groupmates...

being able to spend time accompanying ah mah on the flight back to KL...

and there may be more to come, hopefully...

life couldnt be better. thank god

What is it all about??

I came across this link. about the case of Dr Susan Lim, thanks to a fb post by one of my colleagues; and then proceeded to find out a little more about this illustrious surgeon, which brought me to this website.

I cant help it but to be very distrbed by this incident. Everyone has the potential to make the same mistake as Dr Lim. But what will one do once this has happened, even if it were not true?

What were those years of hard work, research, worth?

I guess yesterday sermon- that to strive for something, even money is not sinful, but just make sure that in the process, ou do not step on someone else...

Flashback to almost 5 years ago now, before I left for Ireland, the one piece of advice that has stuck is... do not cause other people to be troubled... or in another translation, do not step on others...

Life

Heard one of the best sermons in a very long time this morning.

Here are the key points of the sermon

1. Life is hard
2. You are going to die
3. You are not that important
4. You are not in control
5. Your life is not about you

What it means by being a doctor…truth unveiled, uncovered, uncensored.

hat tip to Deanna Lee, UM

Being a doctor means….
Studying 5/6 long years when all your other comrades are beginning to embark on their masters/ PHDs. Or after they have all had their job promotions, you just begun to be promoted form studying to working life.

Studying 24/7 whilst your friends are shopping, holidaying, partying and having the time of their life

Doing on calls when other people are in the midst of their slumber sleep where sweet dreams means being able to sleep 1 hour, undisturbed during on calls.

Loosing 2 years of salary as we are busy studying during clinical years which we were not paid for

Instead of earning, we got to pay our tuition fees. If you get into public university or securing a scholarship- you’re sure damn lucky

If you don’t, your parents will have to spend a bomb for your education which means giving up their property like houses, lands so that you will be an educated good doctor.
What they didn’t know is-
1) They have just recruited you into a life long slavery programme
2) You will treat other people’s parents/family except your own parents; other’s children except your own and being at other people’s bedside rather then your home.
3) You will be too busy to participate in any family/ friend gatherings; be it any important anniversaries, birthdays, weddings.
4) You will even be too busy/ forget to return home

You’re forever exposed to occupational hazards and infectious disease- 1st to get sick- YOU! (Doctors are humans too with “humane” immune system- no less superior then other humans)

You give up your youth and beauty and find yourself aging faster and getting older and uglier compared to your friends
When your peers can make up and dress up you can only dream of it- for there is no room for dresses/ skirts/ heels; these are replaced by pants and crocs to ease running around the hospital/ performing procedures and preventing your beautiful shoes being splashed by liquor and placenta blood.

You’re a walking/ alive encyclopedia+ robot- expected to know everything and do anything. If you don’t know- you would still HAVE to know. Sky rocketing high expectations are expected for you to fulfill.

Friends even call you in the middle of the night/ before sunrise just to ask you if her husband is having an affair or that the pimple she is having will cause her death.
You’re phone shall never be silent again… ever ringing and buzzing (oh yea no allowance for telephone bills too)

Travelling= hospital hopping via thrown out from district hospital to Klinik Desa/ running around working place to run errands
High EQ= being able to withstand criticism by superiors, inferiors and patients
Gym = performing CPR hoping patients will regain consciousness when you know its too little but too late and also running around the hospital to send ABG’s and collecting lab results
Saving lives= your duty and responsibilities, no praises and gratitude for that
Patient’s die/ not cured/unable to cure = your negligence, misjudgment, ignorance and lack of knowledge= YOU ALSO DIE WITH THEM or SEE YOU IN COURT!
Patient’s life= your life
Your life= U Mati, U sendiri tanggung!= no life, life not worth living…
Insurance= you buy medical health insurance, Doctors buy malpractice insurance to pay for the court fees which is 10X more expensive then health insurance :p
Home= hospital
Family= patients
Socializing= meeting more patients and their family
On diet = forgetting/ not having adequate time for meals
Normal working hours= 6.30am till 7pm; on calls= 6.30am till 7pm (if your lucky on the next day) EOD=every other day calls; post call= sleep replacement therapy.
Dating and marriage= dating your patients and being married to your job (not romance between doctor and patient- unethical) ok if you get lucky you may have an actual romance date with the nurse, luckier- pharmacist, luckiest- your on call mate!
Dating grounds= hospital compound- clinics, wards, if you’re lucky -cafeteria
***It is so not Grey’s anatomy perceived scandalous life…
Just as you meet the guy whom you think is of your dreams in one of the rare parties that you are able to attend- he asked what you worked as- you shyly answered “doctor”- he then grinned, excuses himself and never to be heard/ seen again. If you’re guy, this will so never happen; gals gladly sprawl upon your feet- so I guess that’s the best benefit after all being a male doctor.

Word’s not found in a doctor’s dictionary= public holidays, any form of holidays, good night’s sleep. New Year countdown= counting down on patient’s bedside; Chinese New Year= having less Chinese patients admitted to hospital.

If you still think we are still rich and own big superhot cars and abundant properties and assets…
We already lost 2 years of salary to begin with and have super expensive fees to fund
Lost another 2 years of pay increment
Our starting pay and rank is = to nurses, pharmacists and dentist; hence there is no difference between us and them
Our pay is equivalent to a star buck’s waiter if calculated a per hour basis.
Our pay increment is only RM70/ year
Totally overworked and underpaid
Oh yeah and we just had our pay rise! Great! But the char koay teow has gone up too from RM2 to RM4 so are the house rents and bills!
We also got to pay our study loans back- which is so not modest.
Okay yeah we may be rich….why?
1) we are too busy to spend our money
2) we are too tired to spend our money
3) we forgot/ had no time to eat and buy groceries
4) we are stuck in some rural unknown area where the only shopping place available is the insufficient “kedai runcit” and YAY the nice makcik next door just cooked an awesome meal for us.

Okla… I have not regretted YET and still enjoying what I’m doing! I hope I won’t… just to clear your misconceptions… Being a doctor is not as great as the society thinks… we’re still some form of slaves maybe with a more prestigious name - unfortunately maybe not to the ones dearest/ most important to us.

And so we pray for our Healer’s adorn merciful grace not only for our sake but our patient’s…
Our Father healer in heaven
Merciful savior thy name
Thy therapeutic grace come
Thy will be done in all health centers and where there is the sick also needy
Give us this day our daily wisdom, meals, strength and sufficient rest
And forgive our misconstrue as we forgive those who irrationally demand us
Lead us not into medicolegal issues but deliver us away from occupational hazards and infections
For thy kingdom, healing power, grace and glory
Now and forevermore
Amen.

Thus reads my friend’s sms:

A doctor has a special call,
He/she must minister to all,
The Hippocratic Oath he makes,
To do no harm to those he takes,
His studies does not end there as new methods come up everywhere,
Much time is put everyday,
To meet demands that comes his way,
To be a friend to all is no small task,
In all he does he must come last,
It is complete dedication to his duty; responsibility to patients asked,
Late hours, long days are his plight;
Compassion and love are his life,
To God he answers for decisions,
Based on knowledge and considerations.

I'm getting very excited...

that I will be receiving my degree in 2 years in LATIN!!!!

UNIVERSITAS HIBERNIAE NATIONALIS
Testantur hac literae Gradium Baccalaureatus
in Medicina, in Chirugia, in Arte Obstetricia
Honore Cursa Confecto
in Collegio Regali Chirurgerum
in Hibernia cum
Collegio Medicina Pinangensis cum
Universitate Hiberniae Nationali conundo
ad

die iii mensis Juli mmxi

maybe a Latin mass to accompany this accomplishment should be arranged....

At the dawn of becoming a 4th year medical student...

My 21yo classmate just graduated with 1st class honours in Law from Cambridge...

And another last week graduated with 1st class honours in Biotechnology from UCL, and will be pursuing her PhD soon...

Congrats Joe and Jia Jia!!!

p.s. not to mention the numerous other classmates and formmates in the UK, USA and Australia who have already graduated...

in memory of Christopher John Francisco

I accidentally saw him in C15 on Friday. I semi-clerked him, and he told me the merry-go-round he went sent through that morning. He had rode his motorcycle to the hospital himself, short of breath.

He was booked for a scan yesterday.

This afternoon, I received a call... "Uncle Franco died this morning".

I was shocked, everyone was shocked...

He had had a reaction before his CT scan, and it worsened this morning before he passed on...

I am amazed at the amount of people he has touched through his music, and his life... the great amount of people who attended his wake, and more to come tomorrow is a testimony to his humble influence in our lives...

Rest in peace Uncle Franco.

Note to Self

Sometimes I think I treat certain people too nicely, and cling on to sentiments.

I must learn to be ruthless like Alex Ferguson if I want to be the best, even though it means not pleasing everyone...

Should I or should I not?

Behind the Scenes

When someone dies, you usually offer your condolences to the deceased's family and loved ones who have been taking care of him throughout his life and especially during his time of sickness.

So when a priest dies, who do you offer your condolences to? Sure, throngs of people come to pay their respects to his lifeless body, and comment of how good he was, but who do you console?

Surely, even they have loved ones and family sometimes, and even close friends who become part of their family, to mourn them...

A lot of time, these people go unnoticed, and people utter their words of sorrow to the bishop, or whichever brother priest of his they meet, but what about those people who lived and worked with him in other situations of life?

If he suffered a long illness, surely someone must have brought him to hospital, visited him there, cooked his meals, fed him, bathed him, and maybe even watch him at night... surely, it was the laity rather than the clergy who performed these works of mercy?

SO here's an acknowledgment of the love and care of Bruno and Jean, Josephine, the Little Sisters of the Poor, and various other young men and women who were companions of a truly great man, and who were with him through it all... thanks very much and god bless.

RIP

This past month, two of dad's classmates have passed away...

1. His best friend, passed away from a parotid gland cancer, after a 2 year battle.
2. A GP, who met with a motor vehicle accident, was discharged from hospital, only to fall into a coma because of a subdural haemorrhage.

Another significant person in my life to have passed on is Rev Fr Benedict Nieukey , who passed away this morning at 11.40am.

I must say that I was very privileged to have visited him this morning, and left about 30 minutes before he breathed his last.

I remember visiting him before leaving for Ireland, and him telling me stories of his time there. He was a student in Dublin too once upon a time when the IRA were still active, and when the spire was still a clock tower.

And of course the letter I received while I was still in Dublin from this man, asking me about how I was settling in there...

I am sure that the many people whose lives he has touched from far and near will be converging on the LSP in the coming 3 days to pay their respects to lifeless remains of this very humble and wise man.

Drive and Thirst

I have no idea what the turning point was, but somehow yesterday, the thirst to do more and return to my previous routine came back to me, and in addition, the drive to excel for greater things follow along with it...

The question is, do I have the courage and determination to carry it out??

For those in public office

Pro rempúblicam moderántibus.
Orémus et pro ómnibus rempúblicam moderántibus, ut Deus et Dóminus noster mentes et corda eórum secúndum voluntátem suam dírigat ad veram ómnium pacem et libertátem.

Omnípotens sempitérne Deus, in cuius manu sunt hóminum corda et iura populórem, réspice benígnus ad eos, qui nos in potestáte moderántur, ut ubíque terrárum populórum prospéritas, pacis secúritas et religiónis libértas, te largiénte, consístant.
Per Christum Dóminum nostrum.

Let us pray for those who serve us in public office, that God may guide their minds and hearts, so that all men may live in true peace and freedom.

Almighty and eternal God, you know the longings of men's hearts and you protect their rights. In your goodness watch over those in authority, so that people everywhere may enjoy religious freedom, security, and peace. We ask this through Christ our Lord.

IN real life, it seems so real

yeah, so we've learned about parkinson's disease and it's manifestations, lead pipe rigidity; diabetes and ulcers, and how diabetics can't feel them because of neuropathy; how to describe lumps that you feel, tb and the xrays, asthma and the wheeze, sputum and inhalers....

so to see it in real life really puts whatever you read about in textbooks into perspective... it's interesting...

i may never forget the face of the first guy i found with a symptom, but it's only through feeling and seeing it repetitively that you can to recognise things straight away....

the bottom line is that medicine is interesting...

now, i'm looking forward to:

-s3 and s4 gallop rythmns
-stridors
-ct scans
-surgery
-a & e rotations
-dextrocardia
-tetralogy of fallot
and much more...

From Home...

Think of me, think of me fondly,
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me once in a while -
please promise me you'll try.
When you find that, once again, you long
to take your heart back and be free -
if you ever find a moment,
spare a thought for me

We never said our love was evergreen,
or as unchanging as the sea -
but if you can still remember
stop and think of me . . .

Think of all the things
we've shared and seen -
don't think about the way things
which might have been . . .

Think of me, think of me waking,
silent and resigned.
Imagine me, trying too hard
to put you from my mind.
Recall those days
look back on all those times,
think of the things we'll never do -
there will never be a day,
when I won't think of you . . .

Family Facts

So a walk along the road to Bath brought about a very interesting discussion about what the cousins are up to, and it's interesting to note the vast interest my family is involved in:

Social worker
Laundromat owner
Project Coordinator
Auditor
Accountants
Managers
Baker
Taxi driver
Theatre production
McDonald's waiter
Doctor
Nail Salon Owner
Engineer
Handphone salesperson
Banker
Handphone designer
Film Reviewer
Students

Mind you, my cousins range from 43 years old to 6 years old... all in one generation...

Places I have visited 2006-2009

from www.wordle.net